Vocation
by Laryna6
Summary: Sarafan Raziel's last thoughts: why did he become this righteous fiend? Perhaps because of the same person the future Raziel would? Kain knows what must be done.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain. _

_This is in second person because the RP that I had the plotbunny during was in second person because we felt like it at the time, and it stuck. I hope it's comprehensible._

_-_

This has been the crowning moment of your life: everything since your birth has led up to this. The day you were born was the day you almost died, the day your family died.

On furlough, Turel and Dumah return to their families' lands: they are of noble blood and can afford to journey on horseback for a week to stay for one. Rahab's father he sees whenever you are sent out to the area where he is a sergeant. Melchiah and Zephon have to save up their leave days and leave a fourth of a year, traveling with supply caravans to visit their families.

You send you aunts and uncles money, because you don't have much else to do with it: you've already bought the perfect (highly idiosyncratic) weaponry and the Sarafan Order maintains it, supplies you with food and a place to sleep.

You don't remember your family, how could you when you were shoved into a closet hours after your birth and when your uncle found you and took you out they were dead.

You could have died if he hadn't dared the house when he heard your cry: your impression of him isn't that of a particularly brave man, more mousy and peasant-like, but the murderer could have still been there.

The vampire could have taken shelter for the day.

Knowing what you do now, you know the vampire must have smelled you there, blood from the birth cooling on your skin, and did you cry as you heard your family's screaming and pleading?

You can't remember it, and yet you dream of it, banging on the door, as you are now, fully armed and capable of taking down any damned bloodsucker as you just cleansed Nosgoth of the source of them all, but the door won't open and you beat on it, hearing your mother, father, sisters and brother screaming for you, for the Sarafan to save them.

You look at every family you save and wish it were them.

It's nearly over now and you've never found that vampire: it ate in the village again that night, only one more to fill its belly, and you wish it had fed on you, or was there not enough blood in your tiny body to be worth the trouble?

Skin like treebark and white hair: you've searched the records but the description matches none of the vampires killed, and every hunt you go on you hope you will find it, but you never do.

It's the entire focus of you life, everything that you are since you begged your uncle to go to the Sarafan order when you were four, sent off to apprentice to the knights with every coin he could scrap together as a donation. You've paid him back a hundredfold and still you're grateful, you owe him.

You've never found it, but following Lord Moebius' commands you found Janos Audron, and though you know Rahab disapproves you and the others take your time, because this is one of the crowning moments in the history of the Sarafan order, the death of this fiend: the other will be the day the last vampire dies, and you hope you will live to see it as much as you hope that you will be the one to kill the vampire that murdered your family.

You're grateful to Lord Moebius, who selected you for this mission, who let you be a knight despite being base-born, who has given you advice all your life and has foretold with his powers of Guardian of Time that one day, one day you will have your wish: that the vampire that killed your family will die by your blade.

He told you this when you caught pneumonia, chasing a vampire almost to Vorador's home in the swamps alone because you caught a glimpse of white skin that was tinged green and brown by the shadows of the swamp. The knowledge calms you: you're less of a berserker now, a better commander.

Though your brethren have been murdered (how else could the fiend get to this point?) and you have heard fighting in the distance, you have no fear as you face the thing that stands before you, for you will not die until you have avenged your family, you know this.

And yet the blade pierces your heart, betrayal pierces your soul at the knowledge that Moebius lied to comfort you, and you wish for another chance at life, another chance to find and kill the one whose cruelty denied you your family.

Whatever the cost.

It is your purpose in life.

"I renounce you."

Your holy mission.

Your vocation.

Is this creature standing before you the price you will pay for it?


End file.
